Christians: Warriors or Wimps?

I've got a new thought on my mind. Christians, everywhere, ARE NOT ACTING LIKE CHRISTIANS!

I've got some news that might be very shocking to many of you, but if you are consistantly drinking, smoking, doing drugs, having sex and all other kinds of bull crap and you don't feel as if you're doing anything wrong, then stop calling yourself a Christian, because you're making me look bad, and I don't appreciate it at all. Having the time of your life and then "repenting" afterwards is not being a good Christian, it's called being a hypocrite. If you aren't even attempting to stop your bad habits, then I respectfully ask you to never call yourself a Christian until you actually "want" to get your freakin' act together. Being a Christian is not about doing whatever you want and being able to tell people that they are going to Hell because they don't believe in God, it's true, but it isn't your job to tell them that straight up to their faces, so don't do it....EVER.

We have fallen so far from what being Christian truly means, that it is just ridiculous. The Christian people use to be warriors. They were one of the greatest groups of people in the world because they fought for their rights to live out their beliefs and now all we do is sit in a corner while people take away our rights. It's sad, and we don't even respect our fellow Christians of different denominations. We make jokes about each other and speak badly about each other. And in reality, we shouldn't even be seperated in any way at all. We may be Baptist, Pentecostal, Methodist, or Catholic, but we should really just be Christians, meaning, we should follow the Bible as it's written and see one another as brothers and sisters, come together and forget that we're different, because we really aren't that different from one another. What I'm really trying to say is, shut up and don't act snobby because nobody is better than anyone else.

Going back to the "respect" thing, don't bash or criticize my religion or beliefs if you're going to say something that is incorrect. The most irritating thing to me is when someone tries to bash God by turning Scripture around on me, but they take it so far out of context that I'm pretty sure that they've never even opened a Bible. If you're going to say something, don't be ignorant about it. Chances are that people aren't going to show you any respect if you don't know what you're talking about.

List of things every Non-Believer should know:

1. God does not cause bad things to happen.

2. God doesn't "hate" anyone.

3. Homosexuality is a sin (I don't care if you use that Greek/Hebrew language doesn't absolutely translate to English bull crap, you're wrong, get over it.) But since it's a sin, remember, God forgives sins.

4. If it is against the law of the land, you're committing a sin...which is bad.

5. If a someone who claims to be Christian tells you that you're going to Hell, it is safe to assume that they are not really a Christian.

6. If you don't think God is real because you can't see Him, try to see Him without using your eyes...just think about it for a while, it'll make sense soon enough.

　

I think this is all I've got for the night/morning....so if I missed anything or pushed your buttons too far, feel free to comment, message me on facebook, or text me and we'll discuss stuff.

So in closing, Christians, read the Bible more and pay attention to Jesus' teachings better than you currently are....and Non-Believers, give us TRUE Christians a chance, you might like what you see once you find the genuine article.

Thousand Years

Okay, this will be a fun thing to post.

God says that a thousand years is but a day to Him. And people always try to make the connection between the verse in which He says this and Creation, or Genesis. Which would mean that it took God about six-thousand years to create everything around us. Sounds reasonable, right? Noooope. I disagree with this theory completely. In fact, I don't even know why people try to make this connection.

Now I will tell you why this theory is dumb and wrong.

God is described as infinite, all powerful, amazing and awesome in every sense of the words. God said it took only a "day" to make the universe, animals, humans, ect., for a reason. To show how great and mighty His power is. If it took Him thousands of years to create these things, then we may not have been as impressed, even though we ourselves can't come close to creating a universe. He used the word "day" to describe how long it took Him to create the world to show how great He is, so it didn't take thousands of years. Furthermore, He says that He rested on the seventh day, or the Sabbath day. So to the crazy theorists, this would mean that He rested for a thousand or so years. Sounds like a good amount of time to rest after all the stuff He just spoke into motion. But, why then, would one of His Ten Commandments be for "us" to rest on and honor the Sabbath day? Are we suppose to rest for thousands of years? If so, then we screwed up our days of the week and we have run into a serious problem. God, not having defined the Sabbath as anything more than just one day, must have wanted us to simply rest on one day because it took Him one of our human weeks to create us and everything around us. Okay? No more thousand years theory crap, it's dumb and doesn't make sense.

That's about all I got for today, so, bye.

Words of wisdom for today: "You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong."

Friends

My name is Steven "Gonzo" Gonzales, I attended Flight 32, and I sat at the table of The Legion of the Lord.

This past weekend I was able to experience what Chrysalis was like. I met new people, made new friends and strengthened my relationship with my God. I don't have too much to say, but I'd like to thank all the people who've never given up on me. I have no greater friend than the ones who can see past my faults and less attractive qualities and accept the fact that I am flawed. But I AM learning and fixing the things that I can.

I found this in my worship booklet, and it made me cry, and it elevated my heart.

"You have an amazing face. When you smile, I
know how much God must love you. You delight
me-I cannot imagine how much more you must
delight God. I hope you know how much you are
loved.

When you look me in the eye, I know you are
searching for God. I believe you want to know for
yourself, in your own heart and mind, that God is
and that you matter to God.

When you laugh and cut up, I know the world
isn't so bad after all. I know the power of Christ's
resurrection and that nothing will be able to
defeat your spirit of life.

When you cry, I have learned how deeply you
feel pain. Not only do you feel your own rejection,
hunger, failure and loneliness, but you feel the
pain of others' hunger, oppresion, and despair.

When i see you work, I believe God is at work.
Sometimes you reach out to others whom adults
wouldn't even mess with. You are often brave and
selfless.

When you fail or get angry or act selfish, I see
your impatience with yourself and others. You
want the good life now-and I wish it for you.
Sometimes we differ about what the good life
is-sometimes you're right, I'm wrong. Other days
i luck out and have it figured out-and well,
you're wrong. But, dear friend, you do seem to
bounce back and grow.

I always have a tendency to adore you, to
believe the best about you. I think I'm only
following God's lead on that belief. But I do want
you to grow, and that usually requires change and
failure and trouble. On those days I'll risk your
anger to question you, push you, or call you to
Christ. I like you as much off the pedestal as on.

More than anything I want you to know how
deeply God loves you, expects you to love and
serve others, and gives you incredible gifts and
insights to make a difference in our world."

I know I can be stubborn, obnoxious, depressing, loud and annoying. And I greatly appreciate the people who can put up with me. Life is a long hard road, and it's harder for some than others, so friends make things easier. God said that two is better than one, so when one falls, they have someone to lean on, and three and four and five are even better than two.

Thank you for allowing me to lean on your faith when mine withers.

Failures

Not really my own thoughts. But I thought this could inspire at least a few people, and maybe later in life it might give me some inspiration.

If you've ever tried and failed, then you're in good company.

Henry Ford: While Ford is today known for his innovative assembly line and American-made cars, he wasn't an instant success. In fact, his early businesses failed and left him broke five times before he founded the successful Ford Motor Company

Walt Disney: Today Disney rakes in billions from merchandise, movies and theme parks around the world, but Walt Disney himself had a bit of a rough start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because, "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." After that, Disney started a number of businesses that didn't last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked.

Albert Einstein: Most of us take Einstein's name as synonymous with genius, but he didn't always show such promise. Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. It might have taken him a bit longer, but most people would agree that he caught on pretty well in the end, winning the Nobel Prize and changing the face of modern physics.

Isaac Newton: Newton was undoubtedly a genius when it came to math, but he had some failings early on. He never did particularly well in school and when put in charge of running the family farm, he failed miserably, so poorly in fact that an uncle took charge and sent him off to Cambridge where he finally blossomed into the scholar we know today.

Orville and Wilbur Wright: These brothers battled depression and family illness before starting the bicycle shop that would lead them to experimenting with flight. After numerous attempts at creating flying machines, several years of hard work, and tons of failed prototypes, the brothers finally created a plane that could get airborne and stay there.

Winston Churchill: This Nobel Prize-winning, twice-elected Prime Minster of the United Kingdom wasn't always as well regarded as he is today. Churchill struggled in school and failed the sixth grade. After school he faced many years of political failures, as he was defeated in every election for public office until he finally became the Prime Minister at the ripe old age of 62.

Abraham Lincoln: While today he is remembered as one of the greatest leaders of our nation, Lincoln's life wasn't so easy. In his youth he went to war a captain and returned a private (if you're not familiar with military ranks, just know that private is as low as it goes.) Lincoln didn't stop failing there, however. He started numerous failed business and was defeated in numerous runs he made for public office.

Charlie Chaplin: It's hard to imagine film without the iconic Charlie Chaplin, but his act was initially rejected by Hollywood studio chiefs because they felt it was a little too nonsensical to ever sell.

Marilyn Monroe: While Monroe's star burned out early, she did have a period of great success in her life. Despite a rough upbringing and being told by modeling agents that she should instead consider being a secretary, Monroe became a pin-up, model and actress that still strikes a chord with people today.

Emily Dickinson: Recluse and poet Emily Dickinson is a commonly read and loved writer. Yet in her lifetime she was all but ignored, having fewer than a dozen poems published out of her almost 1,800 completed works.

J. K. Rowling: Rowling may be rolling in a lot of Harry Potter dough today, but before she published the series of novels she was nearly penniless, severely depressed, divorced, trying to raise a child on her own while attending school and writing a novel. Rowling went from depending on welfare to survive to being one of the richest women in the world in a span of only five years through her hard work and determination.

Elvis Presley: As one of the best-selling artists of all time, Elvis has become a household name even years after his death. But back in 1954, Elvis was still a nobody, and Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired Elvis Presley after just one performance telling him, "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."

Ludwig van Beethoven: In his formative years, young Beethoven was incredibly awkward on the violin and was often so busy working on his own compositions that he neglected to practice. Despite his love of composing, his teachers felt he was hopeless at it and would never succeed with the violin or in composing. Beethoven kept plugging along, however, and composed some of the best-loved symphonies of all time–five of them while he was completely deaf.

Michael Jordan: Most people wouldn't believe that a man often lauded as the best basketball player of all time was actually cut from his high school basketball team. Luckily, Jordan didn't let this setback stop him from playing the game and he has stated, "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Babe Ruth: You probably know Babe Ruth because of his home run record (714 during his career), but along with all those home runs came a pretty hefty amount of strikeouts as well (1,330 in all). In fact, for decades he held the record for strikeouts. When asked about this he simply said, "Every strike brings me closer to the next home run."

We're all human, which means that we're all bound to fail. Essentially, we must remember to keep our heads up in the face of dissapointment. A lesson I desperately need to learn.

Rough Draft: Novel Idea

This is a rough draft of an idea that I had for a story (hopefully a novel). Read through this little "sneak peek" and comment and tell me what you think.


Florecent light's buzzed and flickered above the back left side of the room. The lights right above a semi-concious teen whose black nappy hair had fallen in his face while he slept on his hand in the back of the class. His eyes were half open while he listened to the numb sound that floated through his ears as his teacher continued with his boring lecture. Nathan tapped his pencil against the left side of his forehead and wished dearly that the school bell would ring, but then, what teenager didn't wish for the final moments of their school day? Nathan checked the broken watch that he kept in his left front pocket on his duster, collected his things into bag, slung it over shoulder and began to walk out of class.

"Where do you think you're going Mr. Mordred?" asked his teacher, Mr. Jimstone.
Nathan's only response was to point his thumb at the clock on the wall behind him. It was at this moment that the bell sounded and Nathan left the room and Mr. Jimstone with a grim look on his face as he watched the juvinile teen leave the room.

Nathan walked across the fantastic school grounds and took in the beauty of the magnificent flora and fauna that were strewn across and roamed the courtyard. He looked up and saw that storm clouds were threatening at the horizon. He knew if he didn't begin his trek home he would get drenched five blocks before he got to his house. Nathan's Converse and black coat shuffled against the concrete side-walk as he walked down EastWay Street. Nathan shuddered and stopped in his tracks. He swivled his head around looking for what caused his body to shake and his head to hurt. Rubbing his fingers through his hair against his head to ease the ache, he looked up and saw a disppersment among the clouds.

"Sonic boom?" he thought.

That was the moment that the object appeared in his sight. I metallic dome with a breech in it's left side streaking at a tremendous rate towards the earth. Fire surrounded the object like a comet's tail, and dark black and purple-like flame material shot out the hole in the hull. A strange screaming sound seemed to be coming from the thing that was hurtling towards the city that forced Nathan to cover his ears. It seemed like hours had passed while he watched this thing fly by, but at the same time it had smashed into a nearby convience store within only a few seconds and sent a blast wave outwards and sending Nathan on his back.

There was a dull ringing in his ears and the world that he viewed vibrated and shook. He struggled to his feet and lurched forward, attempting to keep his lunch down. Dark smoke and ash shroweded the surrounding area from the impact. Though the store seemed to be demolished, the craft seemed to be in perfect shape, despite the hole that must have caused it to crash. Nathan walked closer and inspected the now extinguished metal vehicle. From within glowed a pulsating purpleness that he could not compare with anything on earth. Nathan was cautious and walked the perimeter of the craft instead of moving anywhere near it. It was then that he discovered the real reason the vehicle had crashed when he saw that the piece of metal he was looking at had been a smaller piece of a much larger ship. Such as the captian's helm on a cruise ship is much smaller than the actual ship. Nathan stared at the inside of the control center of something his world had never encountered.

He was unsure of himself, and had no idea what had compelled him to do it, but he moved closer towards the cockpit. He inched his feet across the ground, reluctant to find out what was inside the craft; he feared for his life. But he somehow had the feeling that it was meant for him. In fact, due to the circumstances, that nobody was anywhere to be seen, he concluded that this was something for him to do. A voice whispered within the depths of his mind egging him to get closer.

He stepped inside and his vision was mixed with purple and black. The room he had stepped into had several pieces of metal strips and electrical wiring misplaced and torn out all across the walls. He stepped forward and noticed a strange smell. He looked down and saw that his foot was in a line of unearthly liquid; he looked after the trail of dark liquid and found that it met up with a device that looked like a chair at the forefront of the vehicle. Light shown through near the spot where the trail ended and he stepped into it, afraid of the darkness around him. He felt his heart racing and beating hard against his chest and the voice in the back of his mind grew deeper and stronger and he then realized that he had stepped in front of the captian's chair.

His body had betrayed him, and he now stood in front of a grey skinned, black haired humanoid looking creature. Several glass shards and metallic strips had been sent through the creature's body and his hands had pieces of wire around them, as if someone had tied him down. It took Nathan a long time to realize that the voice inside his head was not his own and this half dead creature was now looking at him. Nathan now understood that this being had somehow urged him telepathically to come save him.

"But what can I do?" Nathan thought to himself, now afraid to allow this creature to die and not attempt to help.

"You can give me a body," the creature choked out in rough English.

Nathan felt a tug on his arm and looking down, he saw that the humanoid's arm had leeched out and turned into a set of tendrils that wrapped around Nathan's arm. A dull purple light consumed Nathan's vision, and his world went dark and his body slummped to the ground.

Inspirational

What's going to inpire you? What is going to make us stand firm? What's going to make us fight?


Wounds, pain, scars. They make us stronger and they're evidence of our experience. If you must remember anything, simply remember that Pain is temporary. Push through the pain, hold onto your friends, and don't give up hope.


"...the world declared in one voice, 'We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" ~Independence Day


"The worlds not all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it...

You've gotta hit as hard as life. It isn’t about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much can you take and keep moving forward! That's how winning is done.
If you know what you're worth, Go out and get what your worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you aren’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that." ~Rocky

"This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting amongst ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Smoke and hot lead pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men. I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other or not, but you will respect each other. And maybe... I don't know, maybe we'll learn to play this game like men." ~Remember the Titans

"I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.""What are we holding onto, Sam?""That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for." ~Lord of the Rings

"Wounds heal, chicks dig scars, and glory lasts forever." ~The Replacements

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." ~Deuteronomy 31:6

Poem: "Tainted Dove"

My heart is filled with sorrow when I look upon your face,
You remind me of all the things that could have been,
My heart yeilds to all the pain of the human race,
I turn my eyes from you and see that I've put myself in a lion's den.

Your simple presence once gave me hope,
Now my mind lurches on the edge of sanity,
Hanging now only by the thinest of rope,
I have no concept of any pure reality.

All is not gone, however,
I cling to what I can and still will be,
There is a saying that says one should never say never,
That is what will empower me.

What is lost cannot be regained,
But I still find my strength in your love,
I am one who's world has been forever changed,
My heart flies with freedom now as if it were a tainted dove.

Immature Generation

This post might make a few people a tiny bit angry, or maybe they won't care. Either way, I love offending people, so it'll make me happy.

Everyone loves those awesome and funny movies like Superbad, The Hangover, and Pineapple Express, right? Wrong! I hate them so much that I can't even express how much anger they make me feel. Everyone thinks they're hilarious when they are just complete wastes of brain cells. There is no cleverness involved in any of these movies' humor, and they are in fact part of a new generation of movies directed at one target audience. The immature, young and stupid. And if you think I'm just ranting and exaggerating, I can tell you that I'm not. Just recently in an interview with one of the most famous actresses of our time, Meryl Streep, about her new movie The Iron Lady, Miss Streep spoke about just such a generation of movies.

It is the film industry's duty to match their new movies up with the minds, creativeness and maturity with the people who watch their movies. Obviously by looking at the crap that's played in our theatres lately and how many people have watched those movies, they are doing a good job. You want to be another statistic in the "Immature Movie Generation"? Be my guest, just don't tell me how awesome the movies are because I don't want to hear it.

Words of wisdom for today, "Don't place metal in the microwave. You might cause a rift in the space time continuum."

Insects

We are insects. We are small compared to the big picture, and have little to no purpose once we really come to terms with how small we are.

Like ants, we continually complete our daily religious activities. We wake up, go to work or school, or both, we make some money, we do some chores, we watch T.V., then we go to sleep so that we can have energy to do the exact same thing the very next day when we wake up. Instinct is what drives all of us mammals to move so monotonously through our daily activities. You must come to the realization that looking down from the universe, we are small little dots moving across the face of the earth. But do not fear. Once you realize how small we truly are, it is then that you can finally realize that there is something much bigger that rules over our lives.

The God of the Heaven's and the Earth, yes I mean that really big guy who said "let there be light", has made a plan for us and promised us that the plan will be good. Now, as small as we are compared to such a magnificent being as Yahweh (Google it if you don't know it) it is hard to understand that we could even have a purpose upon the Earth that His very hands crafted together from the darkness of the void cosmos. I assure you, however, that there is purpose within His creating us. We are to bring Him the glory that He deserves. Don't think the One who designed and created everything you see, including yourself, deserves it? Well then I ask you to engineer a tree out of nothing and grow it, but, you're not allowed to use God's dirt, you'll have to create you're own dirt. See what I'm saying? We are not as all powerful as we believe ourselves to be. Yes, we can harness the power of lightning, wind, water, fire and earth, but we cannot create the forces of nature that we gain this power from. There would not be a cure for Polio if the components to the syrum were not created. There would not be an Atom Bomb if there were no Uranium to power the explosion. There would not be an America if there was not a God that a few good men wished to worship openly without persecution.

We are insects. Compared to a perfect plan, we are nothing more than specs upon the Earth. It is our duty to glorify the One who made us and everything that lies before us. It is not by our own hands that create wonders, but by His hands through us that such wonders exist. We have been given a chance at freedom, at peace, and pure life. There is no reason that we shouldn't pay a small fee to obtain these things that have been handed to us as a gift when He has paid the ultimate price for the gifts that He wanted us to have.

You're an insect. A small piece of dust on the bottoms of the beings that walk across the ground. It will be by your decision to glorify or ignore the Almighty that will decide whether you'll rise to the top of the anthill, or be stepped on along the way. We're are insignificance personified. Don't choose to be even more insignificant.

Part, The Third

Today I actually did something for once this summer. I rearranged (<---I need someone to run a spell check on that, thanks) my room today and accidentally got re-addicted to Mafia Wars on Facebook. Oops...send me some requests and junk so I can start running the underworld again! ;)

I ran across a picture of my old friend and it brought back some good and bad memories. I'll definitely miss you no matter how great of a weight has been lifted from my shoulders by getting away from you, but I pray God leads you to the right path and that you find happiness.

Today I realized that my room is really plain and since I'll be living in it for the next four years, I've decided that I really need to spice it up a bit. So, if you have furniture, pictures, posters, shelves, or any weird little trinkets that you don't want or that your parents dont want anymore, then I will be happy to take them off your hands. My phone number is on my Facebook profile if you'd like to contact me, thanks!

Words of wisdom for today, "Never be rude to the people who are handling your food."

Speech: "From the Dark, comes the Light"

We have fought. We have fought and died. We have attacked and hated our neighbors, lashed out against our brothers, cursed the names of our fathers and ran away from our mothers. We have proved ourselves to be a species of war and desolation. However, it is our compassion and our ability to understand one another through our follies that stand out. It is our small fragments of light that have the ability to outshine the darkness.

The history of our race is a dark one. Battle after battle after war after war we have demolished and ravaged the earth we live upon. Such wars and centuries of conflict are started by those who have no other pleasure other than to watch the world burn and to see men struggle for freedom. It is in these times that we watch men rise to greatness. There is a mysterious code of chromosomes that enable us to become indestructible. While we stay concious, there is no force that can destroy us if we so choose. The strongest man in the world can be defeated by a man with an indominable will. Our strength, endurance, speed, intelligence, senses and all other parts that make us human will fail in comparison to our power of will. It is a sword of power that lies inside each and every man's heart that is just waiting for us to simply take hold of the pommel and take a swing at our enemies.

What we do here on earth, will echo forever in eternity. It is our duty to take up our arms and fight for the freedom and the peace that our children deserve. If we do not stand together on the field that our ancestors stood upon and decided to take their own brother's lives, then we will follow in their very footsteps. No longer can we be so ignorant, no longer can we be so cowardice, no longer shall we speak with stupidity, no longer shall we give our loyalty to the darkness that threatens our humanity, no longer will we run from the giants that stand before us in our paths. This is the moment where we should make our stand. It is now in this time when the history books should resound with the tales of the men who strove to take evil out of the world and fight until the last breath in our bodies. It is now that we need to let our light outshine the malevolent clouds hovering overhead and force the oppressors in our world to face their crimes and walk proudly towards their punishment.

Now is the time to stand up, now is our time to to stand up and shout out, "We will not lie down and dissapear into the night, we will continue to fight." We will continue to live on and fight. And if we fail, then our children will fight, and if they fail, then their children will fight. And their children and their children until the fighting is over and both sides are too tired to continue. And then our thrice great-grandchildren will struggle to their feet with all the power they've been entrusted with and will kick and punch and force the darkness to submit. Victory will be ours.

Stand fast, hold your ground and refuse to give up. No matter what you do now past this point you must remember to never give up. The world will knock you to your knees and keep you there permanately if you let it. You've got to be able to take the hits that are going to come and continue to press on. That's the struggle. Being able to take the powerful hits from the world and continually pressing on, but that's how we'll win. We write our own destiny, not anyone else, so don't ever say that you can't keep going because someone held you back. The only person that will keep you from becoming great is yourself. Your life is your own story. How will you decide to write it?

History has proven that it only takes one good man to change the world for the good of all mankind. Imagine what kind of things history could say if that man had a friend standing by him who was just as good. What could the history books say if there were three or four or five good men who decided to stand firm together? The world would never be the same.

"From the dark, comes the light."

Good and Evil

I apologize if I sound like I'm rambling, it's late and I just typed this in the order that it came into my mind.


What is good? And what is evil? Which one are we?

We are born into this world with the instincts of an animal. Being that we are not animals, those instincts must be controlled. We are born to do what will make us happy and keep a smile on our faces and a frown on our enemies'. We are born into sin, but we have been saved from the darkness born into our hearts.

If we are to say that there is no sin, that there is no right and wrong, then we are saying that Ghangis Khan's, Caligula's, Vlad the Impaler's, Joseph Stalin's, and Adolf Hitler's actions were justifiable and that the people who lost their lives to these men of history were meaningless. Who are we to define the price of life? Who has given us such authority that such weak creatures are allowed to say who should live and die at the hands of another man when they have done nothing wrong. The very idea of saying that there is no sin, no evil, no good, no bad, no reason for morals and restraint in this world is deceptive and destructive. A sentient life form has equal rights once they are concieved as any other sentient being. Saying that there is no such thing as sin, would mean that the millions of Jews who lost their lives did not matter, or that every man and woman who was tortured, taken from their home country and inslaved did not matter, or that a murderer has the right to kill whom he pleases if it simply makes him happy.

Inherent evil lives within us and tempts us every day since the begining of our birth. Since we, as a being of sentient life cannot place a value, unless it is done lovingly, on another's life, then we must agree that sin and evil are alive. If this statement is true, which it is hard to say that it's not, then we must also agree that there is hope, love, life, and salvation. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." If there is good, then there is evil. If there is sin, then there is Jesus. A being above simple sentient life who was filled with love for His creation and gave away His earthly life willingly so that sin would run and hide in His presence.

What is evil? Evil is not a lack of good's presence, but an overwhelming culmination of sin.
What is good? Good is not a lack of evil's presence, but an overwhelming culmination of love.

Through a God so loving we have a way to stop evil in it's tracks. Evil exists, and if evil, the product of a sinful nature, exists, then we must assume that an extreme amount of grace and goodness must also exist to counteract the evil and sin. The truth has been spoken before our individual conception had ever been thought of. It is our imperfection that leads us through the lies of an imperfected world that foolishly believes that sin does not exist. In the begining, there was goodness, which, by law of nature, would soon be counteracted by evil being presented to the world.

It is our choice to decide whether we will choose to be good and to do good things, or to choose evil and to do evil things. For those who remain to choose evil, they must be the ones to remember that there is and always will be hope in the world.

"The night is always darkest right before the dawn."

Nerd-time: The Incredible Hulk

O.K. it's nerd time! Warning: if you do not enjoy the Marvel Universe, geeky topics, superheroes and/or make believe people, then this is probably where you should stop reading.

Today I'm going to explain why the Hulk is so awesome, and that basically only cosmic beings such as Galactus, Silver Surfer, the Beyonder, the Stranger, Madame Web and so on, are really the only ones who have a chance to beat the Hulk. People really only pay attention to the Hulk in the movies, but really the sad thing about the movies is that they don't even come close to displaying the Hulk's full power and people just don't get to see how strong he is. Another misconception is that Hulk is "only" super strong, that is a false statement. The Hulk has a super adaptive ability, or the ability to adapt to his every situation, which include being able to breathe in space and underwater for an extended amount of time due to an aparatus that covers his lungs while in these conditions.

I'd like to give a few examples of his intense powers. During the Secret Wars, which involved several super heroes trying to stop Dr. Doom, Hulk was forced to lift a mountain that weighed over one-hundred million tons above his head. Hulk held an entire planet together with his bare hands while its core was collapsing upon itself and destroying the planet. Once, in his weaker forms, he was asked to destroy a Jupiter sized meteor that was hurtling towards Earth, and did so without a problem. A heat controling super villian scorched Hulk until he was nothing but bare bone and he quickly regenerated his entire body. Hulk was able to crack the armour of an evil entity that no other hero could come close to damaging. He stopped the supposedly unstoppable Juggernaut in his tracks, made Dr. Strange's magic worthless, stopped the powerful Professor X from entering his mind, beat Wolverine to a pulp, outsmarted Reid Richards and Tony Stark, stompped Black Bolt, the second most powerful hero in the Marvel Universe, into moon dust, destroyed an entire army who had Adamantium bullets and defeated every Marvel hero including one who is considered to be a celestial being.

To disprove popular arguement, Hulk cannot be defeated by Magneto, I am utterly tired of hearing people say that Magneto has the power to beat the Hulk. Magneto has one chance to stop the Hulk, reversing the magnetic flow of the gamma radiation and transforming him back into Bruce Banner, but he has to be standing completely still to be able to do that, and anyone who knows the Hulk knows that he doesn't stay in one spot for very long. As I mentioned before, Hulk can survive any situation inlcuding space and the ocean, which means that Magneto cannot force pieces of metal into Hulks body and send him hurdling away to another planet. He could, but Hulk would just come back and stomp him. There is no human or mutant or metahuman force that can stop the Hulk. His power is only limited by his rage, and his rage, is unlimited.

Well, there you go, that's why Hulk's awesome. Unbeatable, indestructible and all powerful, Hulk has the powers of a nuclear man-made god. No more contreversy, he is the strongest hero there is.

Part, The Second

Today has been peaceful and rough at the same time. It's proven again to me how wild my emotions can become and how much strength I have to use to keep myself in control. The fact that I'm gaining control is a mark of progress though, so not everything is bad.

Today...not much happened today and I don't really have a lot of thoughts to post on here. So, this post probably wont be very much longer. I'm thinking about doing a post about my favorite superhero and elaborating on him and his powers and other such whatnot. Yes, it does sound geeky, but hey, its my blog, I can write about whatever I want! And I love the fact that I can do that, so yes, I will talk about make believe heroes tomorrow, maybe sometime around noon.

I think this is the end of this post. Sorry for not having very many interesting things to say today, but I promise to fill up my entire blog page tomorrow. Goodnight, and continue praying for my depression and my trip to Chrysalis in two weeks.

Survive, or Live

What is our existance? What are we here for? Or more specifically, what are you living for?

Throughout the thousands upon thousands of years of human existance, there have been trillions of humans who have walked the face of the earth. Every last one of them that has ever been alive has asked the question of, "what is the meaning of life?" Many turned to religion of different sorts, others devoted themselves to the art of science and reason, and others just don't even care.

Charles Darwin, one of the most notable scientists to have ever lived, though, mocked by the scientific community, made great break throughs in the modern science of his day with his theory of evolution. A theory that through billions upon billions of years, the smallest of cells slowly formed together and began to grow more complex. From two cells grew a piece of tissue, and from tissue grew small organisms, and those organisms' cells continued to grow and replicate in different codes and sequences, creating more complex and different life forms. Eventually, those life forms began to be able to think, and we, homo sapiens, were the new ruling species. However, Darwin's theory only leaves one choice for our race and the rest of the animals that walk the earth...survival. Survival, to continue to reproduce, find nurishment, and populate all surounding areas. One of my favorite movies had a key quote in it that made me scared and amazed at the very idea of evolution. The captain of the spaceship in the movie "Wall-E" says, "I don't want to 'survive', I want to 'live'..."

Surviving is so barbarian compared to how amazing the human race truly is. We have the ability to think on the most complex levels far beyond that of any other being on our planet, the ability to produce more thought than the animals that rely simply on instinct, and most notably, the ability to show compassion and love. Emotion and the power to think is a monstrous difference between us and other species.

The most frightening thing about the idea of evolution is that if we truly did come from a primordial ooze that generated all the beings found on our planet, then we truly have no other purpose for living than to simply breed and be equal to all other animals. We really have no purpose. Our abilities to improve living conditions, to love, to care, to think and simply feel, are all pointless. If we were not created by an all powerful deity, as religion says, then we have no purpose after death. The most fearful thought that has ever entered my mind is if I were to die, that all I would have done will have been meaningless and life is pointless, so why keep living? If we have no more purpose on this earth than any other normal animal, then what is the purpose of life? There isn't one. Even if I created a way to cure cancer, muscular distrophy, or a mental illness, what would be the point? We're going to die and become mulch for trees to grow with like every other person who has ever lived.

There is a purpose for our lives. Simply surviving and being here is not enough. There will be a life after death because I refuse to believe that such complicated beings are nothing but fertilizer once we're dead. I will live for that afterlife because it has been promised to me by a loving God who knows everything about me. Darwin and his collegues promised me nothing and never even knew I would exist.

It's your choice. Survive, or Live.

Poem: "Master of Darkness"

I am your eternal nightmare,
The darkness that creeps in the back of your mind,
My form is quite the scare,
Fangs, ready to gnash and grind.

My power is beyond your imagination,
Strength unbounding and ferocity immeasurable,
My ruthlessness matched only by unrelenting determination,
The beast that lies within is insurmountable.

The earth trembles before my wake,
All living beings fear my approach,
My deadly strike, faster than any serpant or snake,
Undying, unkillable, indestructible like a grotesque roach.

Heart like a darkened stone,
Mind, an unbreakable force,
My fangs gleam like polished ivory and bone,
My ears find pleasure in your howls of pain and remorse.

Relieved of my innocence and grace,
My eyes will be the last thing you see,
I am your end, I will show you to your eternal resting place,
A master of darkness and destruction is what you have made me.

Lost

Today I lost someone that I once considered to be a good friend of mine because it was hard for them to deal with my depression. I've got to say that dealing with something like this is hard, so I can't really blame them, because it's hard enough for me to stand myself, but I regret losing such a good friend. I feel lost today.

Losing someone like that was not a pleasant experience. Today I felt more of my humanity slipping from my control. If I didn't have control over myself, I would have howled from the pain I was feeling and tore my room apart. You can say it however you want, and you can make fun of me for sounding so dramatic, but I felt a monster inside slipping free.

Webster's dictionary defines the word "friend" as someone who is attached to another by affection or esteem, one that is not hostile, or a favored companion. I would like to think that I have a great set of friends who have helped me through my troubles, but I've also had quite a few friends who have given up on me and hurt me, and despite my condition, I continually try to have faith in them. The bible says "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."  It also says that the counsel of a friend is like the sweet smell of incense and perfume, which I would have to testify as true because I've had many moments where my friends have calmed me down from my worst moments. I'm thankful to have them in my life.

Please pray for me.

Unstoppable

Today I sat around and did nothing. But I did watch a very fascinating movie today that I would recommend that everyone watch. A movie called "Unstoppable", featuring Denzel Washington, which is usually a clear sign that the movie is going to be good, and it was. I warn anyone who reads this that, if you haven't seen the movie yet, you should stop reading now. SPOILER ALERT. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The progress of the movie made me begin to think deeper into the meaning of the movie title. The film is about a train that becomes, through extreme error, an unmanned runaway and two men, a newly hired conductor and a veteran engineer, who are on a collision course with the runaway train. However, once they avoid the collision, they make the decision to travel backwards in pursuit of the runaway to attach their train to the back and slow it down and prevent the dangerous gases the train is transporting from being exposed to the general public and killing thousands.

The movie, however exaggerated from the true story, tugged at my heart more than I thought it would. I watched two men with everything in the world to lose chase after a missile on metallic wheels to save thousands of people who they had never met and had no connections to. The runaway train seemed like a beast on wheels that couldn't possibly be stopped by any mortal means, but a rookie under the watch of a veteran made a decision to pursue a hulk, a metal Hercules with the explosive power of a small nuke.

After an eternity and miles of accelerating, they caught up to the train and made an attempt to lock the two trains together. Will Colson, the rookie conductor, is forced to leave the control room of his train to secure the non-functioning lock mechanism that would hold the trains together and shatters his foot and almost falls between the two trains in the process of kicking the lock into place. Once he hobbles back inside his own train, his overseer begins the process of putting on the brakes to slow both trains to keep the runaway from derailing into an oil fuel containment field off the side of a large S-curve in a largely populated city. Denzel Washington, or Frank Barnes, and Will realize they will need to do more to slow the train and Frank soon leaves the train and begins to put on the manuel hand brakes of each individual train car, running atop each car to do so at over seventy miles an hour.

It was at this point in the movie that I thought back to every event from the begining until the moment in the film where Frank starts running on top of the moving bomb to stop it in its tracks. It was then that I realized that the title of the movie didn't just describe the runaway train, but the will power and determination of two regular men who took on a challenge that they saw as their own duty. They themselves proved to be "Unstoppable", even after sustaining injuries and risking their lives and knowing the possibility of never seeing their loved ones again.

A man once said that the man who succeeds is not always the one who is stronger, smarter, or faster, but the man who believes that he can. Will "we" be able to become Unstoppable when the situations in our lives call us to do so?

Part, The First

Decided today that I was going to try this blogging thing. My thoughts probably wont always be in any exact order so I apologize to anyone who actually reads this. I'll try to stop rambling and see if I can figure out an actuall topic to stay focused on.

I think I'll start with my recent diagnosis. It isn't exactly "recent" per say, but it's recent enough; anyways, a few months ago I was diagnosed with an immeasurable amount of depression. I say immeasurable because I can never really put a gauge to it whenever I feel an episode coming on and my doctor isn't the smartest guy around. That's really the reason I started this blog thingy, yes I used the word "thingy", deal with it...I decided to try and find an outlet for my emotional instability and this was my first idea. I don't really get my feelings across very well in person, so it's hard for me to describe what I'm feeling vocally. I haven't been able to write anything except what Mrs. Boyd forced us to write for the past eight months, and I'm trying to get back into it. As of now the book I was working on before this new demon entered my life is at a complete stand-still and is in complete shambles. I think once college starts I'll try to start working on that again and get some chapters up for people to read.

Sometimes it feels like I'm completely alone. I wake up, look at my phone and I've got no new messages from anyone. It would be nice to know that someone's thinking about me every once in a while, but I suppose that's too much to ask for. I could go an entire day without anyone ever saying a word to me. Perhaps if I had someone who just absolutely overjoyed to be my friend, then I wouldn't always feel this way.

It's as if I were Frankenstein's Monster, without all of the body parts that are stitched together. Wandering around without anyone by my side, nobody to speak with or console, and treated as if I don't belong. These feelings have been hurting me for a long time, and they've made me fall short in my relationship with God in the past few months. I never know which days are going to be better than the others or which days will be worse. I've felt so ashamed from all the hatred and anger that I've felt and it makes it difficult for me to call on God and ask for help. I know He's with me and will never leave me, but my demons continually make me feel alone. I'm hoping that going to Chrysalis in a few weeks will help me regain the the pieces of my relationship with Him that I've lost, and I pray that my mind and heart will be made much more clear and become less hardened and hateful. Please pray for me.

I don't know if blogging is my outlet yet, but I'll give it a few more tries after this and see how I feel. I have a thousand other things running through my mind right now, but I'll save those for other posts that I'll make, so I guess I'll get outa here for now.