Rough Draft: Novel Idea

This is a rough draft of an idea that I had for a story (hopefully a novel). Read through this little "sneak peek" and comment and tell me what you think.


Florecent light's buzzed and flickered above the back left side of the room. The lights right above a semi-concious teen whose black nappy hair had fallen in his face while he slept on his hand in the back of the class. His eyes were half open while he listened to the numb sound that floated through his ears as his teacher continued with his boring lecture. Nathan tapped his pencil against the left side of his forehead and wished dearly that the school bell would ring, but then, what teenager didn't wish for the final moments of their school day? Nathan checked the broken watch that he kept in his left front pocket on his duster, collected his things into bag, slung it over shoulder and began to walk out of class.

"Where do you think you're going Mr. Mordred?" asked his teacher, Mr. Jimstone.
Nathan's only response was to point his thumb at the clock on the wall behind him. It was at this moment that the bell sounded and Nathan left the room and Mr. Jimstone with a grim look on his face as he watched the juvinile teen leave the room.

Nathan walked across the fantastic school grounds and took in the beauty of the magnificent flora and fauna that were strewn across and roamed the courtyard. He looked up and saw that storm clouds were threatening at the horizon. He knew if he didn't begin his trek home he would get drenched five blocks before he got to his house. Nathan's Converse and black coat shuffled against the concrete side-walk as he walked down EastWay Street. Nathan shuddered and stopped in his tracks. He swivled his head around looking for what caused his body to shake and his head to hurt. Rubbing his fingers through his hair against his head to ease the ache, he looked up and saw a disppersment among the clouds.

"Sonic boom?" he thought.

That was the moment that the object appeared in his sight. I metallic dome with a breech in it's left side streaking at a tremendous rate towards the earth. Fire surrounded the object like a comet's tail, and dark black and purple-like flame material shot out the hole in the hull. A strange screaming sound seemed to be coming from the thing that was hurtling towards the city that forced Nathan to cover his ears. It seemed like hours had passed while he watched this thing fly by, but at the same time it had smashed into a nearby convience store within only a few seconds and sent a blast wave outwards and sending Nathan on his back.

There was a dull ringing in his ears and the world that he viewed vibrated and shook. He struggled to his feet and lurched forward, attempting to keep his lunch down. Dark smoke and ash shroweded the surrounding area from the impact. Though the store seemed to be demolished, the craft seemed to be in perfect shape, despite the hole that must have caused it to crash. Nathan walked closer and inspected the now extinguished metal vehicle. From within glowed a pulsating purpleness that he could not compare with anything on earth. Nathan was cautious and walked the perimeter of the craft instead of moving anywhere near it. It was then that he discovered the real reason the vehicle had crashed when he saw that the piece of metal he was looking at had been a smaller piece of a much larger ship. Such as the captian's helm on a cruise ship is much smaller than the actual ship. Nathan stared at the inside of the control center of something his world had never encountered.

He was unsure of himself, and had no idea what had compelled him to do it, but he moved closer towards the cockpit. He inched his feet across the ground, reluctant to find out what was inside the craft; he feared for his life. But he somehow had the feeling that it was meant for him. In fact, due to the circumstances, that nobody was anywhere to be seen, he concluded that this was something for him to do. A voice whispered within the depths of his mind egging him to get closer.

He stepped inside and his vision was mixed with purple and black. The room he had stepped into had several pieces of metal strips and electrical wiring misplaced and torn out all across the walls. He stepped forward and noticed a strange smell. He looked down and saw that his foot was in a line of unearthly liquid; he looked after the trail of dark liquid and found that it met up with a device that looked like a chair at the forefront of the vehicle. Light shown through near the spot where the trail ended and he stepped into it, afraid of the darkness around him. He felt his heart racing and beating hard against his chest and the voice in the back of his mind grew deeper and stronger and he then realized that he had stepped in front of the captian's chair.

His body had betrayed him, and he now stood in front of a grey skinned, black haired humanoid looking creature. Several glass shards and metallic strips had been sent through the creature's body and his hands had pieces of wire around them, as if someone had tied him down. It took Nathan a long time to realize that the voice inside his head was not his own and this half dead creature was now looking at him. Nathan now understood that this being had somehow urged him telepathically to come save him.

"But what can I do?" Nathan thought to himself, now afraid to allow this creature to die and not attempt to help.

"You can give me a body," the creature choked out in rough English.

Nathan felt a tug on his arm and looking down, he saw that the humanoid's arm had leeched out and turned into a set of tendrils that wrapped around Nathan's arm. A dull purple light consumed Nathan's vision, and his world went dark and his body slummped to the ground.